Saige Says Stuff

Today I celebrate my one year anniversary from the day I said, “Yes.” My adventure to my engagement day was exactly that, an adventure. Our relationship wasn’t what you would call ideal or smooth sailing. We went through a lot… both of us. It seemed at any given time through our friendship and courtship (no one uses that word anymore, right?) we were never on the same page. We worked pretty hard to keep our relationship alive. I remember being told by guys in my ward to walk away. Walk away from Collin. I appreciate their advice and opinion on the matter, but it wasn’t really their call to make. I can’t say I didn’t think about it. There was heartbreak, disappointment, and uncertainty. But, it was my choice. I chose, Collin. I hate those stories, where someone prays if they should get married and then they just know. " He was the one. She was the one. I knew it with every fiber of my being ." They are lucky, like really. I prayed and prayed, and you know the answ...

I remember my love of tank tops and shorty shorts. I loved cutting off those old pants into summer shorts. But, I have come to learn there is a place for these. It is called the beach. Granted, I have recently come upon a “physically restricting” modesty standard. The lines are drawn. And, I really appreciate it. I am not perfect at this modesty thing. And, I certainly wasn't any better up to this point. But, I am trying. I have an honest desire to be better, because I know I should be. I have found that all the women I truly admire, like really truly think are amazing, have been modest women. There is a difference… between, “Yah. She is way cool and fun. I really like her.” And, “Wow. That is a women a want to be like. There is something about her.” That something is called confidence. That something is called integrity. That something is called courage. That something is called a testimony of divine nature. I remember making a goal after attending a stake confere...

It is almost 2 A.M. I am, maybe, going to sleep soon. My body is tired, my mind just isn't. I can't escape the sad. It is weird how depression can either keep you up till the sun comes over the mountain, or, make you sleep your days away. It is funny like that. I don't find myself in depressive "downs" (that's what I call them) very often. I am lucky, really. But those few days, or weeks, can be so painful and dark. I often think it will just go away. POOF! There went my mental struggles. It isn't going anywhere. It really isn't. I should deal. I have written down the feelings that I feel just to get them out and try to deal from there. They aren't happy feelings. Lifeless. Hopeless. Worthless. These are always the three that come. Depression is downward spiral into a dark place. I am blessed. I really am. I know this. I have so many talents and gifts to be thankful for and develop. My Father in Heaven loves me. That, my friends, is all I can...